If weight is just a number, why am I so upset?

April 2016

January 2020

This morning I stepped on the scale to once again see the number go up instead of down. This has been the trend for the past year, it's small each time but doesn't seem to be stopping. I was down 100 pounds from my original starting weight and now I've gained back about 30.

I feel like I'm still eating healthy and I track my food in MyFitnessPal. In fact, I've been staying under 1600 calories per day, normally closer to 1200. So why am I gaining weight? I know they say when your body changes, so do your needs, but I don't want to starve myself either.

When I decided to train for the marathon, I thought it would help me take the weight back off, but even though I've picked up my running, I'm still moving the wrong direction.